Our Voices
Forever Might Not Be Forever
My boyfriend and I had been dating for over a year. We were both in college. We hadn’t talked about marriage, but I assumed we would always be together. Then I learned I was pregnant.
John told his parents about the pregnancy. They said he was too young, that he should leave me and “just forget it happened.” John even told me he had been thinking about breaking up with me anyway.
I was absolutely devastated. I asked him if he could at least be there when our daughter was born, but he decided to travel to England to study and I was left alone.
I called John when my daughter was born, but he denied she was his and demanded a blood test. I never expected someone who said they loved me to leave me feeling so alone and abandoned.
— Kylie
Why save sex for marriage?
What a deep and intricate question. One that has caused major changes in the way our world views sex. They tell you that it’s just sex. It feels good, right? Why not enjoy it? I had to answer this question for myself when I began seriously pursuing a relationship. Why should I wait? If I truly love someone and I am attracted to them, isn’t it in our nature to desire sex, especially at our age?
I found my answer to this question several years ago while sitting in my room reflecting on my beliefs. I decided someday I wanted to get married, I wanted to love someone completely. To do this, what must I do?
Well, I think that means I need to save sex for marriage. If I don’t wait, what happens? Well, I demonstrate my complete lack of self-control, and a selfish desire to feel good. Frankly, it makes me look like a pathetic man who follows sudden whims and cravings. To me, it just seems... well, it seems rather easy to have sex before marriage.
If I’m going to take the easy path in a relationship, how can I look her in the eye and tell her I truly love her? If I’m not willing to make this sacrifice for her, it isn’t love. It’s selfish. So, I found my answer. I will save sex for marriage because it shows that I actually do love this woman; not only her, but myself, too.
Many people have given me grief for this decision. My classmates do not seem to agree with my line of thinking, which has made things more difficult. But no one said love would be easy, so I take this difficulty as a direct challenge and one that I can overcome.
So, what about you? Will you take this challenge with me? Now is the time to prove your manhood to the woman you claim to love. Do you love her, and will you wait for her? Or do you want to give in to your weakness? I chose the difficult path, and I believe it will lead me to happiness.
What will you choose?
— Lucas
“Sex was the dominating force in our relationship. It wasn’t communication or love that held us together; it was sex. I now understand this is not how relationships were designed to progress.”
Saving Sex — Peyton’s Story
As a teen, I played the third wheel because my sister had many boyfriends and I didn’t. I became depressed and wondered why guys didn’t like me.
When I finally got a boyfriend, it became an abusive relationship. I ended it, but even with that freedom, I still didn’t know who I was and ended up with more exes. Then I met Caden. Even though our values didn’t match, he made me feel special. I thought Caden was ‘the one.’
I wanted to remain a virgin before marriage, but the only thing I remembered from sex-ed was ‘don’t have sex.’ I took that to mean anything but sex was fine. We kept getting physically closer until that one night we went all the way. I regretted it immediately. I couldn’t take it back, ever. I felt like avoiding sex no longer mattered so we kept sleeping together (in secret.)
I felt like I was leading a double life. I kept ignoring the nagging problem of our mismatched values. He was perfect for me except for one thing―he didn’t understand my value of saving sex for marriage. Breaking up with Caden was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it changed my life and made me the person I am today.
I vowed not to be physical with someone again until I was 100% sure whom I would marry and that he would respect my sexual integrity.
While I was single, I found a group of friends who shared my values. An honorable guy in the group, Tyler, later became my beloved husband. I was his first girlfriend―his first kiss! He understood that waiting was important so we waited to have sex until our wedding night. Now I am content with the real man who showed me I was worth waiting for.
— Peyton
Saving Sex — Jayden’s Story
Every person, no matter how well rooted they are in their values, gets tempted at one point or another―this is my story.
I went through high school without dating anyone, had strong morals and an innocent mind for the most part. I knew I wanted to save sex for marriage. These values were infused in me from my family. I dated my first girlfriend during my sophomore year of college and things started with hand holding and hugging. I learned about her past with an ex-boyfriend and that she had done somethings she regretted. I forgave her, but at the same time, I struggled and hated picturing her with another guy.
When we became ‘official,’ we made-out quite a bit and my desire to be more physical took over. As we focused on each other’s bodies, we crossed the line numerous times. It plagued my thoughts and I began to think, ‘If she was willing to do those things with another guy, would she do them with me?’ I became curious and began looking up sexual things and how to push her further in our physical relationship.
It was wrong and I knew it. But my body was taking over my mind. Several months passed and it became the only reason why I’d see her. When I was with her, all I thought about was, ‘How can I get what I want from her?’ It was a horrible poisoned mindset. I realized that I wanted out.
Eventually, after much soul-searching and guidance from family and friends, we ended our relationship. I apologized for how I hurt and mistreated her. I was humbled when she forgave me. It takes two, but I should have led with sexual integrity and real love. This leadership role is one I decided to strive for ever since. I took time to renew myself and learn how to live with integrity. And I’ve realized that it’s through pure motives and selfless actions that the best and greatest of relationships can thrive.
— Jayden